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Biography: "Artist" Profiles: rpfuller
Rpfuller, affectionately known to his friends, enemies and monkeys as "rp", has not only walked the walk, he has talked the talk. There's not many damned limeys that deserve a mention within these pages, and even fewer still that are smart enough to read what is on these pages. If smartness is a virtue, this little blue-and-red penguin is about the damndest nicest guy I know.
Born to wayward gypsies who peddled counterfeit cigarettes and bootlegged copies of "God Save The Queens - The Drag Show LP", rpfuller contemplated life in Antarctica before deciding that the other penguins would have no clue what "nighty-o" and "amomaxia" meant. He swam and swam before getting swallowed by a tuna, who then took an express route to a Japanese butcher and then imported to England for three times its going rate.
The penguin, remarkably unscathed by this turn of events, quickly waddled down the left hand side of the road before being scooped up by punks and painted to a horrifying Union Jack gleam.
He determined, right there and then, that he would never be painted by a punk again. He took a quick stroll up to Notting Hill, entered a peculiar little book store, and bought a dictionary.
After years and years working his way up from words like "daffodil" and "squeamish", rpfuller found that he could use a word like "anterolateral' without blinking (wait...do penguins really have eyelids?). He had thought he met his match when he met a peculiar little bloke named newwave until he found that newwave couldn't pronounce "retarded", let alone spell it.
In a recent conversation with Psychosomatic Medicine magazine, rpfuller revealed his recent love for Canada: "I love everything about Canada, except for its culture, its weather and its people. Oh, righty-o, the people. Actually I hate the people. They make me cry. They make me sniffle. They make me die.". Understanding that statement allows a greater insight into the man behind the penguin. Understanding the penguin behind the man is another chapter...